husband drama

So my husband and I have been discussing about what to do with our relationship. We agreed to try a fresh start. About two hours after we agreed on that he called me from work accusing me of loving my 2 year old step son more then just a mom. And to think thats normal compared to some things he thinks of. So I get him to change the subject and managed to get off the phone with him. After he came home it was like he really did change. He showed affection, he was playjng with our son more, helped with dinner. I started wondering how long it was going to last. Yes he had me change into something more sexy... I wouldn't used sexy I would more go with an outfit I probably wont be able to wear in public and I would end up keep changing clothes until I was in something that pleased him. He didn't have me do his nightly sexual thing I'm forced to do. It seemed almost too normal compared to what usually happens. The next day started normal. I woke up before him to get his lunch ready and prep his stuff. (Back when I first started living with him I started just making his lunch for him.. it was my little way of showing I cared for him. Wasn't long after that I was forced to do it and he would gilt trip me otherwise.) I got him up and started the car. After I did that I started working on his paperwork. But it was just a normal regular morning. He didn't get pissed off at anything. Nothing. It ended up being really windy so I was expecting him home early. Our son was getting over being sick so he slept longer than normal. I usually have time for just myself while waiting for him to wake up. I used some of it to hang out with my sister in law. She lives with me so it all works out. Our son was still asleep by the time my husband got off work. Everything still was going normal. He said something about being hungry so I offered to make him lunch. Before lunch was finished our son finally woke up. Well my husband and his brother ended up going to the store. I ended up giving d our son my husband's lunch. My sister in law and myself started watching some girly show. And when the guys came back they apologizes with the candy blood. The guys ended up playing a video game. Not long after that things started to get... I want to say weird. I went outside with my sister in law because she got a phone call and so she decided to have a smoke during the call. During that time I watched my husband take trash out. Usually you wouldn't freak out if your husband started cleaning house... well I do usually means I'm going to get in trouble for not doing it myself. So I go back inside and start helping around the house. I left my phone in the room on the charger. I ended up doing dishes. It wasn't tell I was done that I saw him on my phone. Which yah its not thaf big of a deal. But he got all butt hurt over a ohoto I took. And another photo I sent to a few friends of mine because I figured they would like it. He started reading my conversations that I have had with my sister in law. Which it has what she feels about him on it and about what my husband and I fight about. It has my feeling about stuff my husband has said or done. So he ended up getting all upset about it. And of course I got in trouble for telling her what my husband and I talk about. If it wasn't for me talking yo her I wouldn't be as sane as I am now about half the crap that happens. Then my husband flat out admits that he prefers his girls to be more his slave then anything. I hate that I still let him get to me. Yes I care about him and part of me will always love him. But im basically no longer allowed to talk ti my sister in law even though she living with us and sees everything that goes on. I don't think it helps about him using our kid as a way to get to me. But even with all this the guy who wants to be with me is still holding on. I haven't gave up hope yet.

being me

Being me. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that this would happen to me. Judge me if you will. But this is not easy. Nor did I see it coming. First few things to know. 1. I am married. I'll let you judge for your self's on if you agree with how he is. 2. There is a toddler involved. I been his mom since he was 2 months old. Been working on adopting him. 3. I have a lot of medical problems. 4. My past isn't pretty. 5. I have a lot of secrets. I am open to any questions about my life and the decisions I have made.