What I told my ex husband

Glad you can go though every day knowing you took another mom away from Draco. I'm sorry that I didn't hold out going through everything I did to try to make it work between us.  I'm sorry I trusted you enough to believe that you and I would always be around. That the 3 of us will always be family. Even though we're not together I still believed the three of us will always be family. I'm sorry you think I was a waist of time and that I never should have been around draco. For as much as he is scared of me. For as much as you want me to have nothing to do with the both of you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm so worthless that I believed you would never take him away from me. I'm sorry I'm not someone you want around your son. I'm sorry I ever thought you were the man I saw. The one who never had to go to his family about every little damn thing.  Thank you for letting me see him one last time. Even though he was scared of me. And I wish I never saw him act that away towards me. I hope he shows you why I would put up with so much. Why he the only damn thing that was holding me here. Why to me he is my personal angel and will always be my son. My only child. I'm sorry everyone was right about you. And that I should have put in that I wanted some rights in the divorce papers. I'm sorry that the person who wanted nothing to do with him still has rights to him. I'm sorry that I still regret saying no all the times you wanted to give me full rights to him. Honestly I hope your memories of me goes away over time.  That the one person I want in my life would have something in his heart that would remember how much he loves me. I'm sorry. But you never have to deal with me again.
I also wanted to add. I wish you would had killed me. At least then I would be able to go on. Or even killed myself.

Easter

I know I'm old enough that easter is just another day with more closed stores. But that's not what get to me. It's how I went to see my son this morning. And he was scared of me. Like he been told things about me. Like of lies why I'm not around anymore.  He never been like that. It was heart breaking. But seeing my guy again made it better. Still hard but better. I truly love him.

Missing from me

Feeling so far away, wanting to be close enough to feel your skin, every second passing bye, seems like we're going further away,  my skin feels cold, my heart seems to ache, the rest of me feels lost, all because your missing from me

Life and death of pets 3/9

There's something about being able to be the last person to see a pet alive. I dont know why but I take death a little more calmly then most. Maybe its just this one I wasnt as close to. Or its the fact that you just knew. But there also comes a peace knowing they arnt suffering anymore.... watching how the other pets are handling it. Its like they knew. They avoided the room and everything before the death. Giving the pet space and peace. I'm going to miss her. Rip spider

Answers or advice I have given

Finding someone is hard work and staying with them is harder. It's worth it when you have someone but everything else makes it seem like what's the point. You need lots of trust, communication, love, understanding, and patience. For most people its asking too much. Because of not yet learned the responsibility's and the reward that comes with it. Late 20's is when usually they are mature enough to see it. On the side note. I agree on probably looking for somewhere else to live.