Terrified

Right now I'm so scared that one day you will no longer want me. That you will see what an emotional wreck and unable to do anything right person I am. That you will see how there are so many more beautiful girls then me. That you will relized I was just a fling and your heart belongs to someone else. I'm scared of losing you. The only other person I'm scared of losing is our son. I've overcome so many fears of mine that you too are the two I wouldn't handle well. I know it's less then 50 days tell our wedding. And i know with you its going to be magical. But  it's a fear I can't shake. The fear of losing you. The fear that you die or don't want me anymore. It eats me up so much. That nights like tonight I having a hard time shaking it.

Update

So I went to Lucky charms wedding. Figured out my wedding date. Got a dress.  Quin hit a deer on the way back. Had to tell insurance that I was driving to be covered. Car now in shop. I think that basically sums up what all been going on.

Quins poem

Let me tell you a forgotten dream that once was. Let me tell you about a forgotten love that once was. A forgotten whisper that once was known. A kiss that still lingers, and arms that still hold love when they hold.A fire that still burns with passion. And a love that still is.

Sweet quote

So about everyone has seen the quote "I want my first marriage to be my only marriage". Kat ended up posting it on facebook and I committed with "I want my second marriage to be my last". Her friend Erika posted underneath something I love. "Everyone deserves to have a practice husband (or wife)". Take a moment for all those people who marry and hopefully divorce abusive or cheating person. How many would love to hear that. Or even people where the person they thought was the one left them. It's really something special.

To quickly

I know your only 2 months old but your growing up so quickly. Last night you slept from right before midnight all the way until almost 6am. Then when you woke up you only had a wet diaper. If you do it tomorrow night you'll be moved into your room.

Mothers day

Lot has happened since my last post but I'll leave that for later. This mother's day was pretty amazing. I got flowers early which I didn't mind. First flowers from my guy. Then on the actual day. I spent basically the whole day with my guy. He took me out to eat so I didn't have to cook. Then before we went home we stopped at Walgreens. Being in the store with him was just like back in Oklahoma all over again. We got what we were looking for. Then we browsed the store like we used to. He got me a white with purple teddy bear there and a gluten free snack. It was an amazing day overall.